once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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