Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
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