You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
