dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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