And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
