Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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