but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize