How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize