Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Randomize
