His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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