i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
