do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
