he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
