I'm really into asian looking animals
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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