she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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