sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
