Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
