people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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