We're like a lot better than the average bears
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
