i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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