so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
