he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
