a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
