Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
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