Tell her she can't have a vagina
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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