I want to stick my p in your. b.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
