garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
