She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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