Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize