he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
