so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
