I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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