dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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