There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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