My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
