If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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