just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
