i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize