I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
