some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize