ugly people sure do ruin things
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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