What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
