in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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