I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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