I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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