your parents love me but you hate me
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
