Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
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Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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