He is an equal opportunity slut.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I want to be your penis for a week.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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