im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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