it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
