Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
