I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize