just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
