he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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