Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
