i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
