i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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