physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
