SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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