does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize