remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
