I hate all girls vehemently.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize