Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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