I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
