you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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