Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
