You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
