they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
