Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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