She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
