How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
