I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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