I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
