Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
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