Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize