So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize