I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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