I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
meet me or not, i'm out of control
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
