Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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