Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
