She is in my trunk
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
