My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize