so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
