We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize