Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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